The Art of Dick Suckin'....

Damn....look at her. LOOK AT HER! Look how she kissin' that dick. She look all sexy & focused don't she? She simply has the tip of that dick in her mouth and she got that dick standin' TALL! She look happy & honored to suck that dick don't she? When I look at her, the sexual sound effects that come to mind are, "Mmmmmmm....*Slurp Slurp Slurp* Damn you taste so damn good Daddy *Slurp Slurrrrrrp Slurrrp! I don't want to stop Daddy *SLURRRRRRRRP!*

LADIES LADIES LADIES, grab ya mutha fuckin pen and paper cuz ya girl Dame is about to share a few tips that shall reveal some truth about the ART of Dick Suckin'.......

You see.....Suckin' Dick is SERIOUS! No Fuck that ORAL SEX is SERIOUS! AND it should be absolutely MANDATORY that any sexually active human being should be WELL VERSED in the ART OF ORAL SEX.... Yet, for the sake of this particular blog, I'm going to focus on SUCKIN DICK.

Alright, let's get into this by first starting with my letting ALL the ladies know...it's okay to suck dick sweeties. I promise. From sooooo many men AND women I've heard that a lot of women either don't want to do it at all and simply WON'T.......OR there's the chick who despises and out-right disrespects the ART of suckin dick....by FIRST complainin' about how she don't want to do it because of this, that, and the other....But then she eventually builds up the "Strength" to get down on her beautiful knees to come face to face with the Beautiful Dick created by the Most High then.......BAM!

She get's to the dick and she start frownin at the dick like the dick done did her all wrong and dirty and called her all types of biches and hoes and sluts and stuff.

THEN, after she frowns, she gives the dick a lil' peck. Then another lil' peck. Then she lick it a lil' bit with her dry ass unprepared tongue. Then she stops and looks at the Dick's Owner as if in hopes of him sayin, "awwww...baby you don't really have to suck my dick. It's okay. I'll just eat ya pussy and call it even..." Ummmmmm...........NO BITCH. Of course he not about to say that shit....so she stares back at the dick in utter disgust and begins to lick it like it's a shit flavored lollipop! After that....she attempts to place the entire dick in her mouth.........yet the moment the tip of the dick touches the back of her throat.....THE BITCH START GAGGIN then her punk ass give up on The ART of Dick SUCKIN....and 2 weeks later she wonder why he actin like that and he dont' come around as much! LoL!

Now wait wait wait....I'm not judging anyone. I'm simply giving you all a simple example that is filled with the things I've heard from both men and women when it comes to Dick Suckin Failures.

If you are the chick I described above, please understand full and well that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Believe it or not MOST ladies can't suck dick! There are even some MARRIED women who REFUSE to SUCK DICK! I don't understand how that bitch got the ring, BUT I do understand how her man don't be home most of the time.......Yup I said it. AND I mean IT!

Why is Suckin' Dick So Important? Because it feels GREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH! But I guess, I couldn't expect anyone asking this question to understand my response because if you ever sucked GREAT PENIS you would fully Feel me!

When a women sucks Great Dick she causes a mans Toes to Curl, Flip, Twitch, Jerk, and possibly Cramp.......but he can't feel nothing but your juicy & hot ass mouth and warm and wet ass tongue delivering immeasurable amounts of PURE FUCKIN PLEASURE to all the damn nerve endings found on his dick.

When a woman sucks great dick teh SEX IS EVEN BETTA! When you done suckin that dick he GONE BEAT THAT PUSSY UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention if yall in the 69 position and you suckin great dick.....*Visual* GaDamn.....I can't even explain this one. I might flood my desk chair with my natural juices because I'm horny as hell off the THOUGHT of a bomb ass 69........*FLASHBACK* Mmmm..... *FLASHBACK* DAMN! Moving right along.....

Look, I'm not saying that a woman who sucks great dick will have all of her man problems eliminated. I'm not saying that a woman who sucks dick will never be cheated on. I'm NOT saying this AT ALL!

What I am saying is that a woman who learns The ART of Dick Suckin will appreciate SEX so much more and she will see a different side of man....TRUST ME! I know. You will be surprised how vulnerable a man becomes when he just experienced MIND BLOWIN ORAL SEX! He might be a lil quiet afterwards...he might not be able to move for a while. He might even look shocked! He might smile a lil' more than usual. He might call your phone or text you a lil' more often. He may want the Punani a lil more often. He may want to do shit he never wanted to do before just because YOU want to do it! LoL! And if yall break up for whatever reason....he might become a stalka. #I'mJustSayin

It may sound like bullshit but I'm SO SERIOUS! Yet I must admit, you probably won't believe me until you actually master The ART of Dick Suckin'. Before I became the great dick sucker that I am....I never imagined how much pleasure I could obtain by giving head!

Some may ask, "Well I thought only whores suck great dick? I don't want to be perceived as a whore!" Let me hurry up and answer this question because this fuckin questin PISSES ME OFF!!!!! How can a woman open up her legs and give a man her PRICELESS PUSSY....yet she all concerned about how he may think of her if she suck good dick! Bitch that just don't make any damn sense!!!!!!

Now, there are some men out there who may think that only a "Pro-Ho" can suck dick, BUT you don't want to be caught dead with a man so damn shallow. These are the thoughts of an insecure man and honey you don't want no insecure man. They bring dram and bullshit ON TOP OF MORE Drama and Bullshit!.......

Plus, I'm not a whore by any means and I actually learned The ART of Suckin' Dick while in my long term relationship. Hell after 8 years I betta had! LoL! One day, hopefully more people will understand the difference between a HO and a Natural Born FREAK!!!!! There's a difference I swear!

Aight, enough small talk. Let me go ahead and give yall a few Dick Suckin' tips.......and dont' be talkin shit until AFTER you TRIED THEM ALL!

1. First things first....approach that dick like you been waitin to suck it all day! Your eyes should be filled with LUST! Come eye level with the dick then give it a nice long French Kiss.....then stop......come up for a lil' bit of air and seduce your man by delivering small kisses AROUND his dick. I mean place soft and gentle kisses all over his thighs, work your kisses all the way up to his lips and nibble his juicy lips gently......whisper somethin' oh so sexy in his ears like, "Damn I want to taste more of you Daddy....." Then.....................

2. BAM! Right after you deliver that kinky whisper IMMEDIATELY drop back down to the dick and grab it gently and force it in your mouth making sure you have enough spit/wetness ready to comfort his dick.

3. Okay...so the dick is in your mouth now and your hand is still on the dick. What I want you to do is hold your hand at the base of the dick and focus ALL of your mouths attention on the TIP of the dick. As a reference, look at the chick in the photo to this blog.....*Pause*...... okay, so now you have a visual. While you at the tip of the dick I want you to give a strong loooooong lick to the tip of the dick. Lick it UP. Lick It DOWN. Lick It from the left Now lick it from the right. MAKING SURE NOT to lift the tongue off the dick at all. Not yet. Now make ya tongue to some circles on that dick.

4. HOLD UP! I'm forgettin some important shit. Make sure you actually want to suck his dick. Cuz if you don't....it won't work. Do whatEVA you gotta do that makes you #HornyAsHell! And remember if he's good enough for you pussy then he deserves your Head Game too Mami!

5. Okay, back to suckin' dick. Now after delivering yummy tongue strokes to the tip of his penis I want you to SUCK the tip of his dick as if it were a nipple. Now I know many of you ladies out ther are like WTF? But just hear me out. Once upon a time we all drank from a baby bottle (Or Mama's nipple) before. You may not remember suckin the nipple BUT you know why you was suckin that nipple....You wanted the MILK! That yummy nutritional milk was your Goal!!!!!! So you sucked and sucked with the perfect strokes that you knew gave you that proper mild dose.....

Well....that's what I want you to do to the dick. I want you to suck it gentle yet firm, making sure NOT to hurt his manhood! And once you get comfortable suckin THE TIP of his dick, I want you to incorporate some tongue licks simultaneously! He'll simply adore you for it.

6. Okay...let's not spend too much time at the tip of the dick. Now it's time to suck THE DICK. YEAH! Okay so now that the tip is nice is ready and pleased, grib your lips tight around the dick and make that dick disappear in ya mouth Ma! Go up and down and up and down MAKING SURE TO switch up the speads. Go slow, go fast, go medium...switch it up!

7. HOLD UP! At this point, you need to make sure your mouth, nor the dick is dry! If it is, see how wet you can naturally get ya mouth wet, if that's not working, take a gulp of water (Yup, you should have a cup/bottle of water by the bed for this reason and post sex cuz you gone be thirsty...you betta be!

8. Okay, As you suckin' the dick, Make sure your hands are at WORK! As your mouth and tongue are going up and down on that dick, make sure your hand/hands are following your movement. Meaning, if you are at the tip of the dick about to go down, your hand(s) should be going down on the dick too! (Big dicks need 2 hands----smaller dicks need 1). Your hands don't have to just go up and down either. GIVE THAT MAN A GOOD ASS HAND JOB and you GIVE HIM A GOOD ASS BLOW JOB. This means your hand is twistin and rubbin and jerkin and movin up and down! Everyone man hold a different tolerance for "pain" so please be gentle until you learn just how "hard" you can handle his dick okay ladies!?!? LoL!

9. Damn...this blog longer than I thought it would be. I told yall this was a very SERIOUS subject. But hold up....I can't give yall all my tips at once! This is enough for nah! Shit, Im tired after writin' all this shit. PLUS, now I'm horny as hell and I feel like suckin some dick. But Yall know Dame's ass is single and I don't have any live in dick that I can just crawl too right now! DAMN! Yall better appreciate this damn blog. Cuz I'm horny and Now i need to Masturbate.

1o. Oh, Okay I'll share a lil more. MAKE SOUNDS! Slurp that dick. Moan!!! Tell him how good he taste inbetween breaths while you suckin him off! He'll fuckin luv it! WAIT! But don't get too GaDamn dramatic where it sound like you fakin it! I mean EVERY moan and Slurp that comes out of my mouth! I get turned ON by suckin dick because I become ONE with the dick!

11. LAST ONE! When in doubt, watch a lil' porn. Some people say Porn is a flase representation of what sex really is like.....This is NOT always true! I'm happy to say I've learned how to suck dick primarliy from watching Porn! YUP! This is true. I would watch their every moves AND I would watch the reaction of the man. It may be porn, yet some reactions are simply natrual.

Oh...before I go. The moral of the story is this. TAKE SUCKIN DICK SERIOUS! Make sure it's with someone you trust wtih your pussy. Make sure you won't regret doing it. Make sure you suck that dick as good as if you want that pussy ate. AND if you want to know if you're suckin dick appropriately, remember to watch his toes! Are they moving about? If ya man wears socks (LMFAO!) Then Ma, you gone have to look up while suckin' dick and pay attention to this facial expressions! LoL! Hey....this will help you get betta! His reactions will show you what he likes the best! EVERY man is different! And if you can't tell by his reactions (for whateve odd ass reasons) please ask him what he likes best! OH TRUST ME! He'll tell you once he knows that you know how to do it right! LoL!

AND...Don't you dare suck dick if you not gettin' that pussy ate!!!! Bitch what's wrong with you? If you do this, we can't be friends anymore. I mean, it's different if yall been together for a minute and you just didn't need your pussy ate on a FEW occasions, simply because you was so horny you just wanted to jump on that dick. BUT, if he actin like he too good OR too "cute" to eat pussy.....kick his ass to THE Curb. He's not worthy. And He's an official punk bitch.

I hope this blog helped a few of my sistas out. Please feel free to send me thank you cards once you've officially mastered The ART of Dick Suckin'. I appreciate the love! LoL!

Forever Fabulous,

The Single Dame

P.S. Hell No I'm not spell checkin' shit.

P.P.S. If yo ass was frownin during this whole damn blog and you still don't want to suck dick....I can't help yo ass. It's called Therapy....and I'm not a Therapist. I still luv you though. I just can't help you when it comes to Suckin Dick. Shit, I turned myself on with this blog! I mean damn.

Drunk Pussy 101

LoL....okay. So I KNOW at least 90% of my blog readers have been FUUUUUCKED up Before!! Right? And I'm not just talkin fucked up like, you couldn't walk a stright line or say your ABC's in order. I'm talkin about so GaDamn FUckEd up that you couldn't walk, ummmm.....you may have passed out just once, ummm......you urinated in places you would never do so while sober....ummmm.....your friends STILL talk about THAT NIGHT whenever you get even CLOSE to gettin' fucked up again. LoL!!!

If yo ass ain't NEVA been this fucked up....Ummmm....well I thank God for designated drivers like you EVERY time I'm in need of one. LUVS YA! And I HOPE you can still enjoy this blog!

Okay, ANYWHO, so let's get to it. DRUNK PUSSY 101. NO WAIT!!! I GOTS to update yall on THE Fuck Buddy and I......you ready?

We BROKE UP!!!!!!!!!! I was DEVASTATED! It came outta nowhere. He got fed up. I got fed up. I confided in my homegirl Caya and she was like I'm go be okay and I didn't believe her...then I believed her. Then I was like aight, I'm gone be cool. Then I was like FUCK HIM! He ain't shit! He a bitch! He a selfish asshole who knows all the right things to say FUCK HIM!!!! I should BEEN done wit his ass...............

The very next day, we met up together, held a conversation AGAIN, and then we met up again later on that night. Okay, so he came over my place. We hung out and talked. We watched a movie, spoke politics, and got our DRANK ON!

And when I say we got our DRANK ON, we wasn't stoppin the flow. LoL!!!! When either one of us emptied our glass, we po'ed that shit right the fuck back up! And Alcohol has its funny way of ummmmm.....changing people. Or shall I say, exposing people. Once that liqua got DEEP in our system, we was TALKIN SHIT! We REALLY got deep about our feelings and how we piss one another off.

We was talkin shit about the POWER STRUGGLE that exist within our relationship. AND one of the main topics that he complained of, was what I mentioned in a previous blog. THE Fuck Buddy wants us to be more SPONTANEOUS when it comes to fuckin and we need to do more shit outside the bedroom!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!!!?!?!??!?!

We are BOTH busy people!!!! We both makin' money and to do so means we stay busy and our schedules are so fuckin different it's ridiculous. So it has gotten to a point where we HAVE to "schedule" Fuck Dates more often then we did before. SHIT, it's called MAKIN MONEY! Anyway, so the Liqua had his ass talkin all this shit. AND I MEAN he kept goin, and goin, and goin, and goin, and goin, and goin..........

Hell, it got to the point where in my head I was like PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!! And if you all don't know me by now, DAME knows how to get her way......

As he was laying back and talkin shit I got all up in his face, got real close and I roughly grabbed his bottom lip with both of my lips and I sucked on them, JUST THE WAY HE LOVES IT! And after that.....his ass was DONE talkin shit!

We engaged in a very intimate kissing session that TURNED ME ON as if he was already eatin my pussy!!!!! And we kissed long and we kissed deep and it was EXXXTRA passionate! We ALWAYS have great kisses, yet I would like to take this time out to officially thank ALCOHOL for holding the ability to INCREASE our PASSION! YES!!! YES!!!! YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am proud to say I was officially DRUNK PUSSY on this night! BUT don't you mutha fuckas's get it twisted. I WAS GOOD DRUNK PUSSY! I know how to act.......ummmm......yeah. I do.

After we finally let up from kissin', I turned off the TV and was about to get up and turn on some R. Kelly, He grabbed for me and was like, "What you doin?" then my drunk ass was like, "I'm about to turn on some R. Kelly". He was like, "We don't need that....." He threw the remote control outta my hand, then he start kissin me ALL OVA MY BOOOOOODY *In my Martin Lawrence voice LoL!!!!!!* DAMN! I came up outta my damn clothes QUICK AS HELL! I still can't find where I threw my damn panties! LoL! But I know they in here somewhere.........

Anway, this brotha turned me ON so much so that I jumped on that dick before he ate my pussy! I was so wet, I didn't even think about gettin my pussy ate, all I wanted was THE DICK IN MY PUSSY! So I musta jumped on that dick and rode that dick like a PRO-HO!

THE Fuck Buddy already got TERRIFIC DICK, yet while under the influence, that dick felt like it belonged to SUPA MAN!

AND WE HAD SOME OF THE WETTEST DAMN SEX EVA! I MEAN MY PUSSY WAS EXXXXXXTRA JUICY!

I got wet pussy naturally, yet it was a GaDamn THUNDERSTORM occuring between my thighs! *FLASHBACKS* I especially could hear the wet sound effects when he threw my on my back and start BEATIN MY PUSSY UP!!!!!!!!!! Each of his strokes was accompanied by some pussy splashin!

And that damn Alchol had us actin like animals! I mean we I was moanin he was growlin (or somthin' like that), I was yellin GIMMIE THAT DICK! He was tellin me how good the pussy was.....

BUT he didn't have to tell me shit about how good my pussy is, cuz you know you got some GOOD PUSSY when that brotha gotta take a PAUSE and simply lay up in that pussy for a few seconds to gather himself!! LoL! Cuz when he gotta take a pause he tryin' not to nut too fast cuz he don't want that SENSATION to end! He don't wan't that pussy to stop BITTIN BACK! He want you to KEEP THROWIN THAT PUSSY BACK!

LoL!!!!!!! AND I DID!!! And I was scratchin his back and squeezin his muscles, and rubbin his head and bittin his neck, and kissin his face, his nose, his arms, and ANY other body part I could find!!!!!!

Oh, I almost forgot to tell yall, after we first start fuckin', I got up off that dick and start suckin his dick. Now Mind you , I'm DRUNK AS HELL, LoL, So my balance and my focus a lil' off! Aight, so I'm suckin, strokin, lickin, and nibblin THE DICK, but I must admit I was doin a drunk job! LoL! Then all of a sudden this SEXY MUTHA FUCKA was like......"Oh, I see you need some motivation......" and he grabbed the bottom half of my body and pulled my pussy ova his face and start EATIN MY PUSSY LIKE SUNDAY's DINNA!

And YES, it worked ladies and gentleman! LoL......I guess the Liqua had me forgettin a few dick suckin tricks, YET the moment his lips and tongue massaged my pussy.....I start Deep Throatin' that dick like a Pro-Ho! Overall, I'm good at Deep Throatin, YET that Liqua had my gag-reflex muscles all relxaed and stuff! My dick suckin skills on this night even had ME impressed! FOR REAL!

Let me fast forward and sum it all up. The SEX was REMARKABLE. And when it was all said and done, no words were exchanged between THE Fuck Buddy and I, and we just passed the fuck out and fell right the fuck to sleep........BUTTNAKED! LoL!

Aight, so enough about me, here are a few tips for DRUNK PUSSY 101:

1. Ladies, PLEASE! Know yo damn Liqua-Limit! Becasue ain't nothin worse than a bitch who done got so damn drunk she THROWIN UP on the DICK and/or PUSSY ! See....that's just nasty. And I know at lease ONE of my readers has done this, I just BET YOU MONEY LoL!!!!< But that' okay. Just don't do it again.

2. DON'T get so drunk that you pass out before you get some dick and/or pussy!

3. DO NOT particate in DRUNK FUCKIN! If you are an EMOTIONAL DRUNK! For example, I NOW know better than to get drunk off Ciroc and expect to have a cool night. IT AIN'T GONE HAPPEN! Ciroc is what I drank with my homegirls and we hangin out and talkin shit. CIROC makes me sensitive, it makes me start talkin shit about my past, it be makin me think all deep and philisophical and shit. LoL! BUT that's just me. LoL.

4. Ladies, if you plan to be Drunk Pussy for the night, please have everything you need within a short walking distance. It ain't cute watchin a pretty bitch stumblin around tryna find the condoms, the KY jelly, the sex toys, and the massage oil! Get it togetha bitch.

5. LADIES! Please allow the least drunk person to make the drinks throughout the night. You see, this is where I fucked up the other night. I was drunk and hell, then had the nerve to make me another drinK! And I musta poured SO MUCH DAMN LIQUA in my cup... I actually think I mistook the Liqua for the Juice......All I need to say is, my MORNING AFTER was not CUTE! I felt like shiT! And THE Fuck Buddy was like, "I told yo ass!" LoL! Shit, I don't remember what the fuck he's talkin about.......

6. MAKE SURE if you gone be Drunk Pussy, make sure the man/woman you FUCKIN is someone you trust. Or else yo ass might just end up on Maury with some bitch dude, who done slipped that ass a Date Rape drug, then he invite all his homeboys over, and now you don't know who yo baby daddy is. Or yo ass might end up on YouTube! Or in a TwitPic...becareful bitches!

7. Don't feel ashamed the next day! Shit, life is short and you grown as hell! You was just lookin to have a lil fun right? I mean so what, if you can only remember some of the things that happened the night before! LoL! You remember takin dick from behind, but you can't seem to remember suckin' his dick upside down like he claims you did! LoL! SO WHAT! LoL! That's why you only be Drunk Pussy for someone you know cares about you and wouldn't harm you. Yo ass ain't got no time for regrets. The only thing you should regret is if you did NOT have an orgasm! See, that's sad. And yo ass need to e-mail me.

I honestly enojoyed being Drunk Pussy the other night. Yet, the only question that only the ALCOHOL may know the answer to is...."Where did his NUT go?".....Uh Oh? Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol.....smh. Seriously....where is it?

Damn. Don't be like me. Just enjoy the blog.

Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame

P.S. FUCK a spell check! Don't judge me.

P.P. S. If this blog is too graphic! Why the fuck are you still readin? You closet freak in denial!! Fuck U! And thanks for reading!

P.P.P. S All of my Twitter Fam knows that I am writing this blog while I'm ill. So I hope you still enjoy it. Luvin Yall!

My Mahogany "L" Fantasy......

I swear it's the nights when you feel like keepin' yo ass at home and not being bothered with NO DAMN BODY......but somehow someway, one of yo damn friends convince you to bring yo ass out to go clubin and then you-- by the grace of God-- have one of the BEST DAMN NIGHTS EVA!

Well, that was me tonight! I didn't want to go out at all!!! I was feelin all lonely and shit. I was in the house with my stankin ass holiday blues, but then my homegirl was like, "Girl, come one. Let's go get drunk". And because I luv her ass, I couldn't say no.

Aight, so we at the club and it's men everywhere. Some are so damn sexy, while most of the men there were ugly and un-interesting AS USUAL. You know the type of men who try they damn hardest to look like they just came fresh off a Jay-Z or Gucci Mane video shoot.....you know the type. The dumb ass men who wear sunglasses in the club. The men whose clothes cost more than they damn rent and sometimes they paycheck. The men who sip ONE DAMN BEER ALL DAMN NIGHT!

OOOOOHHHH and we MUST NOT FORGET the man who actually does have his life together, and he makes SURE yo ass knows WHO he works for, WHAT he does, WHAT he drives, and what he CLAIMS he can do for you and steady tryna shove some type of "business card" in your damn hand.....tryna talk to yo ass like you some kinda idiot bitch fallin for his weak ass game which is simpluy camoflauge for him really tryna say, "I am insecure, my dick is a moderate size, BUT I CAN'T FUCK!!!!"

OMG! This dating game is sooooooooooooooo over-rated and quite frankly I have found myself in a position where I'm just not attracted to men as I use to be. NOT AT ALL!

So guess what....aight. So the entire night, as I'm surrounded by silly men, and women who are STARVING for the attention of ANY man, I found myself in complete infatuation with....THE BARTENDER!

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bartender was just so damn sexy. She had a cute lil' booty. Her hair was so flowy and her smile was priceless. I kept my eyes on her the WHOLE DAMN NIGHT! And occaisionaly I would see a man come up to her and try and caress her and I just wanted to run up to her and be like, "Don't let him touch on you like that Ma".

I spoke to her so many times that night. We laughed and exchanged smiles. So many times I contemplated asking her if she would like to go out. I also contemplated simply giving her my number, yet I just COULD NOT DO IT!!!!!! Why?


Well, I was with some lady friends who only know the STRICTLY DICKLY Single Dame. LoL. And they always lookin out for me, so they would have been ALL UP IN my business! And I didn't want that. Especially if homegirl would have been like, "No, I don't do girls". LoL. That would have been HORRIBLE! LoL!

Even though, I doubt THE Bartender would have turned me down. I saw the way she looked at me. She knew I wanted her. I fucked her with my eyes the entire night. SHE was MY Fantasy!

Damn........I wanted to know what her pussy tasted like. I envisioned her with her legs up and my face between her legs with her juices floodin my face. I'm such a freak I would TURN HER OUT! I just know I would. Being freaky & kinky comes natural. Damn I wanted her.

She was not quite Nicki Minaj, of whom is my TRUE Fantasy, yet she was similar.

What Am I going to do? If I see her again, I think I might just have to make a move. I want her pussy on my lips. I want to smell her beautiful scent. As I close my eyes at this very moment, I can see her staring back at me. I see her laughing. I see her watching me when she think I'm not watching..........then when I turn to her she stares else where, because she is surprised at these feelings I'm making her feel.

You see, I'm a TRUE Freak. My freakyness can turn on the masses. I made her wet. My eyes alone told her EXACTLY what I wanted to do to her and she wanted me to do EVERYTHING! I wanted so badly to see her legs all the way behind her head as I take long licks of her.

I wanted her nipples on the very tip of my tongue. I wanted to hear her moans and groans! I WANTED HER!!!!!!!!!!!! Her beautiful Mahogany brown skin. I wanted to lick her from head to toe and leaving no body part un-explored..........

Yet, here I sit alone in my bedroom writing a blog of my fantasy. Oh.....yet one day soon I shall have her or a woman like her & of course Nicki Minaj stays on my list.

What am I to do? I hve GOTS to get me a girl............soon. This is getting ridiculous. I shoulda took her home tonight, ate her up, then sent her ass right back to work.....that would have been something to blog about.

I would have called her again, but DAMN, she woulda been JUST what the doctor ordered tonight. DAMN I WANT HER!!!!!!

I apologize if this blog is repetitive............BUT I really really really really want HER! *Sigh*

Shout out to my girl CAYA!!!!!!!!!!!! What am I gone do Ma? This fantasy shit is NOT gone give me that FIX I really need!!!!!!!!!!! I shoulda gave her my number huh? DAMN!

I'm a sucka for a nice lil' ass, round titties, thick thighs, cute lips, pretty smile, feminine as hell, and got a rough type ora about her..............a smart/educated street chick. Oh yes...that's it.

WAIT!! I almost forgot. I did get hit on by this one chick. She was dancin on the dance floor. She was gettin all close and shit. She kept bumpin her ass on me AND she kep gawkin at my titties. I mean she was cute.......but I WANTED THE BARTENDER! I made her out to be my fantasy MAHOGANY "L"................so lovely.

Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame

P.S. HELL NO! I'm not about to spell check. Chill the fuck out and relax. Check my blog archives. You'll fuckin love them!

Why Can't YOU Fuck?

So I'm over here listening to "Raindrops" by Jeremih and I'm ova here jammin and lovin all my damn kinky & oh so FREAKY flashbacks!! YES!!!!!! Luvs these moments.....

As a grown ass woman, I am very proud to admit I've had some INCREDIBLE SEXUAL EXPERIENCES!!!!! Goodness ME! I'm one freaky Dame and I'm proud of it!

Yet, as you all know of my most recent tragedy with THE Antidote....I encountered some of the WORSE DICK EVA IN MY LIFE! That dick he delivered made my pussy feel as though it was being used in VAIN! *Sigh*

That SEXY MUTHA FUCKA was a waste of sexual space! I hate to say it and sound all shallow, but COME ON YALL let's think about this for a minute.......

To all of my female readers...you got a pussy right?
To all my male readers......you got a dick hangin between your legs either to the left, to the right, up, or straight down right?

Okay, so we have these BEAUTIFUL SEXUAL ORGANS to reproduce and experience PLEASURE BEYOND BELIEF RIGHT???????

Then can somebody PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me why in the hell are there people walking the face of this Earth and simply don't' know how to FUCK?

WHY CAN'T YOU FUCK????????

Hold up, listen to this, THE Antidote had a PORN "Fetish" and STILL COULDN'T FUCK!!!! What am I missing here? AND YALL KNOW HE WAS A GROWN ASSSSSSS MAN!

So this makes me wonder, is the ART OF FUCKING truly an ART that only a few MASTER? Am I one of the chosen few fortunate ones?

Yeah Yeah, I've heard all that shit about it depends on the people having sex with one another and that one person could be great in bed with person A, but be horrible in bed with person B....

BUT BUT BUT.....GOOD SEX IS GOOD SEX! A man should at least know the basics to fucking. Hell, so should a woman.....NO MATTER WHO YOU FUCKIN!

It's just not right you all. You see, as you all know, after I stop messin with Mr. crazy as hell THE Antidote....I went and took my ass RIGHT BACK to THE FUck Buddy! Yeah there's a lot of emotional connection there, BUT ASIDE FROM THAT....THIS MAN CAN FUCK YOU...HE CAN MAKE LOVE TO YOU.......HE CAN SPANK YOU AND PULL YOUR HAIR!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!

Wait...maybe folks don't even know the basics.... let me give a few examples.

DA BASICS:

1. Sexual Intercourse MUST begin with Oral Sex performed by both partners. Be it in the 69 position or you two (or three) take turns.

2. MEN you are NOT to simply POKE THE PUSSY. THIS IS #FAIL! A man must use his hips! Stroke that dick in that pussy in ALL KINDS OF DIRECTIONS! I shole appreciate a man who can make his dick do circles in this pussy in a nice rhythmic motion.....yes yes yes!

3. WOMEN! You can NOT be a lazy FUCK! I've heard from TOOOOO MANY MEN that a lot of women just lay there and take the dick! BITCH!!!!! YOU BETTA THROW THAT PUSSY BACK AT HIM!!!! What's wrong with you? When he force that dick in that pussy FUCK BACK! This means, when the dick goes in, move your hips in the direction that makes the dick go DEEPER!!!!!

4. MEN.....don't be like THE Antidote. PLEASE BE AWARE that during one sexual encounter, at least 4 positions can me experienced at MINIMUM!!! Don't be a boring FUCK! Don't get on top of a woman and get to actin' like yo ass ain't neva had no pussy before! Beatin the pussy up and cummin all fast in ONE POSITION! You should be EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED because yo ass is a selfish FUCK! ONE SELFISH FUCK YOU ARE!!!!

5. WOMEN!!!!! Aside from fuckin back as described above, you must MAKE SURE that your pussy is BITIN' BACK! YES LADIES!!!!!!!! Make that pussy bite that dick! That means when that dick is in your pussy, SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZEEEEE SQUEEZE your pussy walls SO TIGHT! and Contract them back and forth and GRIP THAT DICK!!!! GIRLLLLLL, you will gain you a stalka for sure.....if you do it the right way that is! *(Search on the web Kegal Exercises)*

6. MEN & WOMEN!!!!!! LISTEN TO THE NATURAL NOISES THAT SEX MAKIN CREATES!!! The sound of HARD DICK and JUICY PUSSY colliding!!!! OH MY OH MY OH MY!!!! Just writing about this shit is making me horny as hell!

7. WOMEN... men are visual creatures! They dicks get hard just off the SIGHT of a woman. LEARN what turns him ON! For example, I know THE Fuck Buddy LOVES my thighs so the other day I went over there with thise TIGHT leggings on that accented my ass and thighs!!! I can PROMISE you he FUCKED THE SHIT OUTTA ME before my clothes even came off!


Okay....so these are just a few BASICS!!! If ALLLLLLLL Of the things I described above are not taking place in your sexual encounter.....then you got some thinkin to do and some PORNOs to watch! And don't be like THE Antidote and watch the damn Pornos without learning something. BE JUST LIKE ME!!!!! I learned MOST OF WHAT I KNOW form Pornos! I PROMISE! LoL! Don't Judge ME!

Okay, as I end this blog, I'm listing ot "Freakin Me" by Jamie Fox and I was thinking about Freakin. LoL. Okay Okay, for real though, one of my blog readers brought up a DAMN GOOD POINT! She said that if THE Antidote had done his part and FUCKED ME RIGHT then I wouldn't be so damn caught the hell up with THE Fuck Buddy Again.....and she's right! LoL!!

As sad as it may sound, if you all remember correctly, THE Antidote was named THE Antidote solely because he was suppose to take take away some of the attention I was giving to THE Fuck Buddy. THE Antidote FAILED!!!!!!!! And I'm right the hell back to where I was.

You know what else? THE Antidote makes me EVEN MORE afraid to leave THE Fuck Buddy and try again with any other MAN! I'll be DAMNED if I experience some horrific dick like that again!!!! OH HELLLLLSSSS NO! That shit should be illegal! I dont' deserve BAD PENIS! My sex game is ON POINT! I AIM to PLEASE! ANd I DO! Not mention I work damn hard during the day....I deserve some good dick to come home to after I deal with the bullshit and politics of my career! YALL FEEL ME!?!?!?!?

So again I ask the question...."WHY CAN'T YOU FUCK?"

Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame

P.S. Don't judge my spelling either. Yall already know, I dont' do proper English on this blog. I'm a college graduate who need to FUCKIN RELAX and this is how I does it boo! LoL! So FUCK A SPELL CHECK!

Tipsy Random Thoughts of Dame.....Pardon me.

I'm just thinking about a lot of shit. Sitting @ my desk listing to this song called "Who Am I to Say" by Hope. This chick Hope....oh she can depress and uplift the spirits of damn near all who feel her music. So much irony to her music's objective.....

But Anyway, so I was wondering....It is CRAZY AS HELL how years can pass since you've ended a relationship with someone, yet the turmoil of that relationship can still haunt the fuck outta ya life at times......Oh I'm sorry is it just me or do some of yall feel the same way?

It's like, my fucked up relationship has been DONE WITH for over 2 years now and still I feel pain. And sometimes I wonder through all of the healing I've done, are there some parts of me that simply will remained damaged/hurt/broken/impaired/used/disrupted/abused/harmed/dismantled?????? Yeah Yeah, I know, I know, I'm suppose to learn and grow from the pain...AND I DID...but damn, it still hurts a bit. Sometimes I STILL find myself asking the question of "Why?".

*Sigh* I'm bringing this up because as I sit here and I think about the "relationship" dynamics that exist b/w me and THE Fuck Buddy......I just see so much fucked-up-ness......and I've grown to accept it. As I tell you all the various interactions b/w THE Fuck Buddy and I, there are still many stories you all will never know.

There are so many things that I've accepted of THE Fuck Buddy that simply don't make since to me. I ask myself why do I accept his bullshit at times and I come up with a few excuses/answers.

For example, as a teenager I NEVER thought I'de see the day when I would accept being in a relationship with a man, without my desire to have monogamy as priority. I had an 8 year relationship with a man *off and on* and I NEVER cheated on him sexually. Yeah, I may have had emotional friendships with a few people during those times he treated me like shit, but I was so LOYAL........SO LOYAL.....I respected his body AND I respected MY BODY.

Fast forward to the NOW. Here I am a woman living the Single life. I'm not ashamed of being Single. I'm learning more now as a grown Single woman than I have in all my years of living. Yet, I do question my new criteria of dating and being respected. I NEVA imagined being in a Fuck Buddy relationship that is almost 2 years old. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE BULLSHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH WITH THIS MAN!

It's like, I feel like I've lowered the bar of what I accept of a man.....AT LEAST when it comes to THIS man. I wish ever so deeply I could divulge more information about this man, but someone reading may know who he is. Chicago is large yet small and he would fuckin FLIP THE FUCK OUT ON ME....and I don't' have time for that shit. He's known...and that' ALL I'm gone say.

I'm tipsy so hold on....let me gather myself and get back on track. What was I saying?

Oh yeah, I would have never imagined me being DEEPLY intimate with a man and not demanding monogamy. As a young woman I allowed my ignorance to shield me. I told myself that as long as I didn't find anything out about my man cheating on me....then he wasn't. And when there were sure signs of my man doin' wrong....I turned the other cheek to avoid conflict and to try and maintain the Fucked-Up-Happiness that I had grown accustomed to and that which comforted me. In my mind I was building the foundation for my future family because I didn't grow up with a strong foundation and that is what I desired...oh how life and my wants have changed.....

Damn.....where am I trying to go with this blog?

Basically......I asked myself today why does it feel like I've lost a certain level of respect for myself? What was the cause of my asking this?

Well......as I reflect upon these past 2 years of living CRAZY and WILD and ON THE EDGE and FAST and did I say WILD AS HELL already? Well, among all this craziness that took place primarily with THE Fuck Buddy....I wonder what the hell happened to me. Where exactly did I lose myself?

Is it true that a man can have SO MUCH CONTROL OVER YOUR DAMN EMOTIONS that you just get lost......? Or would it be more fitting for me to say that we give a man OUR emotions and we abandon our very own emotions just so THE MAN can do as he pleases when he pleases withe our emotions, JUST so we can blame someone else for whatever the outcome may be of the upcoming emotional roller coaster we are about to ride?

What do I mean by this? Well, it's been almost 2 years and I'm still here. I'll leave, then I'll come back.

Wait let's back track a lil', you know what, THE Fuck Buddy was the first dude i REALLY latched on to after my fucked up realationship ended. THE Fuck Buddy brought sunshine back into my life. He showed me how to live again. He taught me what it was to be happy again. He touched me in all the right places and he knew how to say ALL the right things.

I don't know if yall know this, but I met THE Fuck Buddy during one of the times my fucked-up-ex and I "broke-up". This was when I was in college. I never fucked THE Fuck Buddy in college. I stop fuckin' with him and then went back to my fucked-up-ex..........

The relationship I had with THE Fuck Buddy in college was so cool. He was so damn nice to me. He was there for me when I was going through some rough times in school. He would console me. He listened to my pain. He would rub my back. He would hold my face. He was just simply listen............... He would spend the night at my dorm and we wouldn't even have sex. HE TRIED LoL...but he didn't press teh issue. He supported me. He understood me........

Then something happened and we stopped talking. We got into some silly argument...we drifted a part.....and I eventually stop talking to him and went back to my ex. *Sigh*

Years passed and we grew up and a part. And when we both met again almost 2 years ago, it was obvious we both were 2 different people. He was still a wonderful person, but I sensed pain. I could see some pain in his eyes, yet he had up EVERY protector known to man and I simply couldn't get to what that pain was.....and today as I write this blog I still don't know that pain, but I STILL See it in his eyes...........

That pain invented a new man. A man that didn't lose sight of the wonderful person he was, BUT a pain that created a man that refused to TRUST another woman. A pain that kept all women at a certain distant. A pain that PREVENTS him from verbally saying words like "I love" and "I care". A pain that erupted confusion within himself in essence of him questioning the man he was becoming Versus the man he naturally is...... A pain that has placed me in a situation with a man that's not once I knew.....this is a some new man or irony.

I can't be mad because my PAIN created a woman afraid to trust another man. MY Pain created a woman who would rather settle for a Fuck Buddy relationship than one of monogamy SIMPLY because she feels like she has more control this way......

MY PAIN created a woman who doubts all words that escapes the lips of every HUMAN alive. MY PAIN caused for me to be numb. MY PAIN placed PLEASURABLE SEX over Monogamy & love. My PAIN makes me run and run and run and run from anything that feels too good to be true. MY Pain initiated an internal war that I'm still battling....

So here we are THE Fuck Buddy and I......together again, yet ever so apart. It's like we're both in limbo. Together we are are lethal. Our actions are careless. We say hurtful words yet embrace one another with such caring words and support. Together when we lay in silence we console and comfort one another's spirits. We calm one another. We piss one another off....

But back to the carelessness of our dynamic. Our sex has been pure when it should not have been. We've had unprotected sex when we knew we shouldn't have yet we loved EVERY bit of it. You see....but this is how children our bred and std's derive and yet and still these concerns don't enter my brain when I'm with him........what I feel with this man is something that goes ABOVE & BEYOND LUST......

I know lust. I know love. And I can openly admit I don't know what the hell this is.

Feels like a Soul Mate. Yeah it really does. Why? Because we share so many commonalities it's scary as hell. It even frightens us so much that we care not to discuss the things that we share that are alike because indeed it seems to much of a COINCIDENCE. I've discussed this with my mother and she listens in silence. It's like she knows something I don't. It like she is seeing something that I'm blind to.

WELL......it doesn't matter because I don't' see much of a future between THE Fuck Buddy and I. I'm running and running....and he's helping me by pushing and pushing. *Sigh*

I'm so foolish.

Hold up before you go......I remember laughing at the idea of a woman turning lesbian simply because she's been hurt by so many men and she dared not be hurt by another.......

Yet, today I stand a woman who has indeed always been attracted to women and who is openly stating that I'd rather my next heartache be caused by a woman who I was dating. At least it will be different in that it's a woman.

I don't' want another MALE FUck Buddy. At this point I don't want any type of relationship with a man except with that of my Male Best Friend and he KNOWS I'm on my lesbian voyage.

Am I simply creating more problems for myself by running to the "otherside". I'm a very successful young woman yet I'm known for running from some of my problems......only to run into some other problems all the while the old problems still back there waitin on me to return and fix them.

FOOLISH AM I BY CHOICE.......again it boils down to control. If I'm hurt I want to know it's because I LET it happen. I am in this because I CHOSE TO BE. If anything negative generates from our dynamic I KNOW NOW that I should have left THEN but I didn't because I DID NOT WANT TO..... I leave him...I come back.

IT's SUCH a control thing.......but it's dangerous.

Overall, my concern is how long will I continue to live my life with self-destruction countering my progressive steps? How much longer will I deny myself a healthy relationship SIMPLY because I FEAR the disaster that can come from me letting my guards down and loving & trusting again?

How long will I allow THE Fuck Buddy to have this POWER over me.....indeed it's a power I GIVE TO HIM....yet when will I WANT to take the power back?

When Will I respect me more in that I'll DROP THE FUCK BUDDY and NEVER enter such an emotionally draining type relationship again????????? That is the question.

Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame

P.S. I'm tipsy as hell so I KNOW it's hella typos. Oh well....don't judge me......

P.P.S. "Who Am I To Say" by Hope

24 Days Sober....*Update* Uh Oh....

*Sigh*.....so you got a glass of wine ready? A cup of Vodka? Some hot ass herbal tea? Well....whateva your choice of drank...po that shit up and let's get IN to this. Because damnit I need to get this shit up off my chest! Okay....where should I start?

Well, let's start with the photo to this blog. It explains how I feel. I feel sexy, yet a little bit ashamed. I feel free yet not so free. I feel in the dark, but with a li'l bit of light. Get it? If not.......just keep readin'.


How about I just get straight to to the damn point? I'm bullshitin' because I'm not ready to talk about all that has happened these past few days because it's just been so damn emotionally draining. *Sigh* I hate when I let too many days pass by before I blog......ok, let's just go on with it!


Okay, so THE Antidote and I have been spending quite a bit of time together. It's been almost 4 months since we've been talking and almost 1 month since we've tried fucking and quite frankly.......I'm NOT Impressed. And I feel like I've kept him in my life for the sheer reason that he helps me keep my mind off of THE Fuck Buddy! And he does! AND I told THE Antidote that this would be his primary functin when I first met him.

The problem now is that I'm NOT sexually into THE Antidote, therefore he's NOT serving his purpose. He's useless to me. WAIT....you see. Just by reading this, you all are probably thinking, "Poor THE Antidote....Dame is just doggin ya ass. She ain't right. Skip that bitch. You deserve betta!" No No NO NO NO! THE Antidote is NO Saint!!!!! Read the very first blog I posted on THE Antidote. I explained there what typa brotha I thought he would be...and I was RIGHT ON POINT! He always wants to know my EVERY move. He questions where I'm going and who I'm going with. He DEMANDS my time. He's insecure! He's INSECURE! He NEVA believes me AND this all leads to this past Saturday's events....but first let me share a lil more.

I called THE Fuck Buddy up on last Friday, November 6, 2009. *Sigh* Yeah I know. WTF? Well....look, for 24 days I didn't have any physical contact with THE Fuck Buddy. NONE! ZIP! ZERO! 24 DAYS SOBER!!!! YEAH!!! I mean.....can I get a lil bit of credit?


*Sigh* But you see....what had happened was, I had an epiphany. After HEAVY HEAVY HEAVY HEAVY reflection and soul searchin.....I decided I did NOT want THE Fuck Buddy out of my life. I just couldn't fathom the thought. All the while I'm contemplating the idea of it all....I cried like a damn baby. THE Fuck Buddy must have some kinda damn VooDoo damn Hex on Dame!!!!! Because I cant' shake this fool.

Look, so I called him last week Friday and I let him know EXACTLY how I felt. As the phone was ringing my heart was THUMPIN! I was hyperventilating (ummm yeah can't spell that right now thanks to Ciroc). And Damnit I was NERVOUS ASS HELL!!!! I haven't spoken to him since I broke everything off......yall remember the blog.

Long story short, I told him even though we aren't fuckin right now, I still wanted him in my life. I told him that there is no replacing him and I'm NOT done with him yet. I told him the feelings I have for him are too strong for me to let go. I told him I know he has strong feelings for me too because he too won't let go. NO MATTER what I say to him....he's ALWAYS there. And my crazy ass done said some OFF THE WALL type shit to him that would be the cause for most men to say "FUCK YOU BITCH" but he neva has. Well....we've exchanged harsh words before, but he never brings it back up and uses those words I've used toward him---against me.

THE Fuck Buddy and I have been through SO MUCH SHIT and I'm sure we'll go through some more SHIT, yet all in all, we are still right here.


During our convo, I also expressed to THE Fuck Buddy that I'm dealing with some jealousy issues. I told him I don't like sharing him with other bitches. I told him I'm too crazy and selfish to share and that I don't like NOT knowing who the other main chick is. I know one of his out of town chicks, and i like her BUT I don't know ANY Chi-town chicks of his anymore........ I told him I didn't feel as though I was his number #1 girl. I felt like I was number #2.

After I kept talkin' and talkin' and talkin'.....I finally cut myself off and stated to THE Fuck Buddy, " You already know everything I'm telling you..don't you?" and he answered YES. *Sigh* And he's right. I've stated most of this already.

In response to all of my verbal madness, THE Fuck Buddy actually had A LOT to say. He was angry at some of the things I've said because he simply stated that I was sooooo far from the truth that it angers him that I allow myself to believe some of the scenarios and stories I make up in my mind regarding what I believe his life is OUTSIDE of his life with me. He stated that with us being so open and honest about the relationships we have outside of ours, he doesn't understand why I wouldn't believe him otherwise.

THE Fuck Buddy also expressed to me that I am TOO focused on sex. AND he reminded me that is was ME who broke up our past relationship and created the fuck buddy scenario. He stated that it was NOT his doing (This is true). He then went on to tell me that perhaps in order for us to work, we have to switch things up some more and he wasn't talking just sexually. THE Fuck Buddy stated that most of the times we meet, we greet one another with a kiss (damn good kiss) and then I seduce him and we GET IT IN! Now, he is not mad at the sex....as a matter of face he's a bit infatuated with my wet-goodness, YET he stated that we don't have to be like that all the time.

Well, I then asked him, "Well, isn't that the proper way Fuck Buddy's engage with one another? I mean, Fuck Buddy's....fuck".

THE Fuck Buddy didn't respond to my question...he kept talking. He went on to say that we could do other things together. He also stated that we don't only have to talk at night time and only on the days we plan to fuck. AND he stated we don't always have to PLAN to fuck.

I THEN TOLD HIS ASS...."Well, if you feel this way, then you should take the initiative." THE Fuck Buddy simply responded by stating, "We'll just play it by ear."

After that, I say "Okay, we'll see how it goes. I'll talk you later." AND THAT WAS THAT. I hung up feeling no different then when I initally called. If anthing I felt as though that conversation just sealed the deal that we just were done because even though the words sounded good, it was noticable on the phone that we both had a little attitude toward one another.....SO, I continued about my day and later on that night, Friday the 6th, I went over to THE Antidotes house.

While at THE Antidote's house, we hang out, eat dinner together, chill....get a "lil" kinky NO SEX, just rubbin and thangs. Then I took my ass home quick because he was boring me. I just wanted to go home. I think his age bothers me sometimes if I really think about it. And I typically think about it when he do old shit like GET SLEEPY! I work a lot too, but I'm A NIGHT OWL! I need someone who can HANG UNTIL DUSK if I wanted to....he can't. So I left early before I got pissed off.

SATURDAY, November 7th, 2009 arrives and I wake up feelin good as hell. I feel refreshed, lively, free, cute, highly favored, and GRATEFUL to be alive! It felt GREAT in Chicago. The sun was just shinin' all bright, the sky was clear, and the Skyline to Chicago was just lookin EXTRA beautiful this day.....so I took my ass downtown for a lil bit of ME TIME! DURING THIS ME TIME, and just as I was about to eat at one of my FAVE restaurants and I was sitting in the window reading, I received a text asking, "So what have you been doing all day?"

I was shocked as hell to see THE Fuck Buddy taking the initiative so soon. Here it is Mid-day in Chicago with the sun kissing my skin, and BAM, the love of my life text me. LoL. I'm happy, YET I'm cautious. I'm no fool....where's he going with this. So we text back and forth then came to the conclusion that we would spend time with one another this night. Cool.

So I finish my ME TIME MEAL, flirted with the man who served my food (SEXY AS HELL!) and start making my way back home. On my way home, I called THE Antidote and asked him if he's like to try some of the food I purchased because I remember last time he wanted to taste it. He said of course and I was like aight, we talked a lil' more then I was like, "I'll call you when I get by your house". So I called this mutha fucka and he didn't answer the phone. Cool. So I took my ass HOME.

30 minutes lata....RING RING RING.....RING RING RING......."Where you at?"

"I'm at home."

"Okay, cool well I"m home now so you can bring that food ova."

"NO, I can't because I done passed ya house already and I'm going out tonight. So I'll just bring it by tomorrow."

"No, you can bring it tonight. You said you was gonna bring it so bring it."

"NO, I said I was going to drop it off to you and I wasn't going to be staying long because I had plans for the night."

"Where the fuck you goin?"

"I'm going OUT. Why you trippin? I don't trip on you when you goin' out."

"Look, just bring the damn food by before you go out then. Let me see you before you go out."

"I'm about to get off this phone because you not listin' to me and I want to relax before I leave out for the night."

"Aight look, just call me when you about to leave out for the night."

"Bye THE Antidote"

OKAY, so this is when it starts. Time passed and it was time for me to go over THE Fuck Buddy's house. ON my way there, I call THE Antidote and we talk.......

"Hey, I'm on my way out. You cool now. I know you not still mad about the damn food? *Laughin*"

"Oh....so you really not about to bring the food over here?"

THEN POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW.....THIS MUTHA FUCKA CURSED ME OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't believe the shit. He start sayin shit like he's a "Good Catch" and "That's how my EX missed out on me. Her ass wasn't shit and now you actin like this" He also said, "It's PLENTY women out there who would want to be with me........."

Oh I lost my damn cool after that. I TOLD THAT MUTHA FUCKA..........

"Well if you such a damn GOOD CATCH then GO GET CAUGHT THEN MUTHA FUCKA don't let me hold you back. As a matter of fact, we don't need to kick it no more because yo ass is Crazy!"

HE then went on to say..."Well if that's what you want, then fuck it then, that's what you can have."

AND I WAS LIKE....."Bye." and hung up the damn phone.

Okay, Now this blog is LONG ASS HELL! I KNOW I KNOW, but I just HAD to get this shit OUT! It's almost done. If you need a bathroom break or a masturbation break, I will wait patiently for you to return. OKAY? Cool.....moving along.

ALRIGHT, so POW, I arrive to THE Fuck Buddy's home and the very moment I arrived it felt SO DAMN GOOD. IT FELT SO DAMN RIGHT. HE COMFORTS ME.

THE Fuck Buddy makes me feel like a woman. He takes charge and his manhood is known and recognized immediately. He makes me feel shy. He places those butterfly feelings in my stomach.....*Sigh* I'm so love sick it ri-damn-diculous.

OVERALL....we did NOT Fuck this night. No No No....we didn't not fuck. We indeed have a wonderful kissing session that relaxed every muscle in my body. When I'm with him the world STOPS. Nothing else matters. I forget about it all.......*Sigh*

Look, in summary, this night, we watch 2 movies, we joked around, listened to music, spoke about religion, talked about health, AND we talked about my sex addiction (He thinks I don't have one. I'm going to do another blog on this topic) and YES we talked about us.

I exposed to him that as I thought about US when we were apart, I cried. He looked at me and told me not to cry. No crying. No crying. He asked why I cried and I stated that in life.....there are oftentimes when TWO PEOPLE are in a relationship, yet, these same TWO people have different relationships with one another......get it?

Or in other words. I told him that I feel as though the feelings that I have for him are NOT the same feelings that he has for me. I told him that I cried because I'm a very wise woman and I don't hide from the truth. I told him that the TRUTH of the matter is.......I understand that this may be the case and I wouldn't want any false feelings and emotions from him. I told him life just is what it is.....but sometimes the TRUTH will hurt you DEEP. And I told him I was hurting.....so the tears came without warning.

After that, He looked at me. He rubbed my hair, He caressed my face.....then He told me don't worry myself.

He continued to embrace me.......I closed my eyes.....and I fell asleep.

Forever Fabulous,

The Single Dame.

P.S. Fuck a spell check. Just enjoy the damn blog.

P.P.S. I'm still searching for that "perfect" woman for me.....that search is NOT ova.

THE Antidote......*An Update* 80/20

Oh yes...look at him. Just look at the man in the painting to the left. That chisled body...abs all defined and shit. Look at those strong arms that look as though they were made specifically to pick my ass up, push my body up against the wall and eat my pussy in mid air!!!

Hold up, now look back at the painting again, you see how he lookin down at his own dick? You can't see his eyes, yet the stern smirk on his face is saying something like, "Damn I gotta a big dick!"

And guess what....he may be right, BUT>>>>>

Okay, so as all of my faithful bloggers know, I FINALLY had sex with THE Antidote. Yup, I finally let him get some pussy. I let him sniff, lick, stroke, and poke my NaNa in high hopes that he would help me to get over THE Fuck Buddy of whom I've finally broken up with.

*Sigh* So yall know I fucked his ass and I was DONE! I through my gadamn hands up in the air and was like FUCK THIS SHIT!

Yet, my girl @JessicaLaShawn on Twitter, was like, I should fuck his ass again and give him another try. At first I was like HELLLLLLLLLL NO! Back dick once is bad dick twice! First time shame on him, next time shame on my ass!

But my horny, lonely ass, went ahead and fucked'em again. And this time I let him bust a nut as to last time I stopped his ass mid-stroke....ummmm....he couldn't fuck this time either!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just what the fuck is going on here? I mean he's a lot of years older than me, he's suppose to be teaching me some thangs, but it seems that if I decided to stay with his ass I'M GOING TO BE THE ONE TO SHOW HIS OLD ASS SOME NEW TRICKS!!!! WTF? This just ain't what was in my plan!

I don't know if yall remember, but this man is sexy. He works out ALL the time! He can dress, He's established. He's nice. He eats healthy. He's funny. He's caring. WTF? I KNEW IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS ASS AND DAMNIT!!!! HE CAN'T FUCK!!!!!!!!

HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK HE CAN'T FUCK!!

I cold never understand the phenomenon of BIG DICKS attached to SEXY MEN who simiply CAN'T FUCK! I mean when THE Antidote stands up naked in the middle of the room I stare in complete amazement at his beautiful dick that hangs so nicely b/w his legs with such impressive girth.....I mean I litterally LOVE sucking his dick, even though I must admit his dick is too big for me to deep throat.

Oh, and did I mention he SUCKS AT EATING PUSSY???? THE Antidote Can't eat no pussy either!!!!! WTF have I gotten myself into!?!?!?!?!?

Honestly, I've never been put in this sexual situation before. As a matter of fact, I talk about bitches who be with men who can't eat pun-pun nor beat the pussy up right. Cuz how the fuck could a bitch possible be happy if she's not sexually satisfied?

So it boils down to the 80/20 rule. Here I am, with this man that has 80% of what I'm looking for and within that 20% exist the fact that he's SEXUALLY CHALLENGED!

What would you all do if you were me? Honestly.....what would you do?

Look, so, THE Antidote and I have had VERY OPEN AND HONEST conversations. I told him he dick hurts my pussy because it's bigger than what I'm use to. I told him I need to teach him some thangs because he's a bit boring in bed. Oh, but get this. HE ASKED ME, "I suck at eatin pussy don't I?"

LMFAO!!!!!!! I couldn't fuckin hold in my damn laugh!!! I was laying in the bed naked ROLLIN!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!! But then I looked at his face and felt bad. So I calmed down and was like, "Well, you're not that bad." Which is true, I mean with some new tongue exercises, and a Clit tutorial, he'll be ON! But gosh damnit I dont' feel like takin a brotha to schooL!

Oh, not too mention I can't be stretchin my pussy out with some Mandingo ass dick that ain't even worth it. HELL, I told his ass I couldn't let him damage my goods unless it was going to be worth it!

THE Antidote even said I'm going to have to teach him some things!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?

Okay, look as you can tell, I'm taken aback by all of this. He seems so damn open & honest about being a grown ass man who is SEXAULLY IMPAIRED! Why is this? What the fuck? Is it becasue I'm so cool and verbal that he feels comfortable to just LET IT ALL OUT?

*Sigh* I'm in such trouble here! I am so comfortable with this man and in his home. I mean he lets me do whatever I want. I can be there when he's not IF I wanted (I dont'). I can speak my mind and he can take it. It's like GOSH he perfect BUT HIS DICK SUCKS! *TEARS FLOODING MY DAMN FACE*

It's so bad that I want to fuck THE Fuck Buddy RIGHT after THE Antiodote and I finished fuckin! And you KNOW that's BAD!

Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame

P.S. Hell no I'm not spell checkin this damn blog.

P.P.S Hell no I'm not about to fuck THE Fuck Buddy. WE ARE SO OVA!

P.P.P. S I met a new dude at the Halloween Party I went to ova the weeked. #fail.